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How To Handle Disappointment (For Real)

Ever find yourself feeling elated, excited + enthusiastic about life and then the next week find yourself feeling disappointed, sad or just crying in a heap?

This was me for the first 2 weeks of May…riding high and then feeling really low.

The highs are easy, right?

But, when the low point came, I found myself saying things like “You know that feeling bad isn’t helping. You have a great life. Snap out of it. What’s your problem?” 

Then, I finally allowed myself to just not feel good, to lay on the couch with my dog and simply sob for all kinds of reasons and for no reason at all (while telling him he has it all figured out – after all, “dog” is “god” backwards + that’s gotta mean something!)

I allowed myself to embrace the situation as it was, to feel whatever it was I was feeling without telling myself I should feel better or that I should be doing something else (something other than sobbing with my dog while my sweet husband offered his support.)

And ya know what? I highly recommend it.

What I came to discover is that the way “out” of those disappointing, frustrating + sad moments is to go fully through them.

The best way to handle it all is to allow yourself to come unhinged + give yourself permission to not have to “get it together” on demand.

So here’s what I now know.

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They key for me was to stop (more…)

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What To Do When You Feel You’ve “Missed Your Boat”

When you go into an audition, share your vulnerability, give it everything you’ve got + don’t get the part, it can be disappointing

When you put your heart and soul into it + think that one audition is the key to the kingdom and you don’t get it, it can be devastating.

You may think, “That was my big shot. I missed my boat. That was gonna change everything.”

And then what happens? When we are faced with this kind of rejection over and over, our ego focuses too critically on all the ways we have lost. Judging ourselves as wrong, or bad, or not good enough, which can leave us feeling disappointed, dejected and sometimes hopeless.

Your ego may try to convince you that you need to change something or fix something about you to be more “right” the next time (and it’s not to say we can’t learn from each experience, because there is always space for that), but best-selling author + psychologist Dr. Robert Holden says…

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Isn’t that powerful? “No amount of self-improvement can make up for a lack of self-acceptance.”

So the real learning, in order to release rejection and let go of disappointment, comes from (more…)

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5 Ways To Be Free + Brave In Every Audition

On the heels of  the USA’s 4th of July holiday, I feel so lucky to live, as our “Star Spangled Banner” song lyrics states: “in the land of the free + the home of the brave.”

I’ve been thinking alot about these two words lately, and what it means to be free + brave. 

These two powerful words seem to also apply to being an actor.  This career path lends itself to having a free schedule, one that changes daily that can leave you with either to much free time or feeling a deep sense of freedom, joy + creativity, depending on how self-motivated you are +  what you do to stay inspired + growing.   Then, to put yourself out there, day after day + face rejection of all kinds, definitely makes pursuing an acting career a brave choice.  How free + brave do you feel?

Well, in the audition room, the more free + brave you can be, the more likely you are to be remembered, called back + hired for the job.

Ultimately,

Free+Brave

When you are concerned about what everyone else thinks, odds are your actions won’t be coming from a place of feeling free + brave.  Once you let that go, you will find more peace + creativity in your life + your acting work.

As C+ C Music Factory says: “Free your mind + the rest will follow.”

Here are 5 Ways To Be Free + Brave In Every Audition (more…)

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Bring This Perspective To Rock Your Next Audition…

When I watch my 2 toddlers run around in our backyard, I am reminded of our innate sense of play.
They so purely embody that feeling of having fun, not caring who is watching + not bothered by what others are doing.

What if you reclaimed the “I Am Here To Play” perspective this week? What if you walked into every audition thinking:

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As actors, that is usually why we pursued this path – to creatively play for a living.  It’s easy to lose that sense of play when you start giving every audition a lot of meaning + importance.

And even though you have rent or a mortgage to pay, getting back to playing in the  audition room will help you succeed every time. (more…)

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Actors: What if you don’t feel “beautiful enough” to succeed?

Do you ever worry that you might not be “good-looking” enough or “thin enough” to succeed as an actor?

“You’re not good looking enough,” were the exact words Allison Janney heard from an agent in the beginning of her career.  Luckily, she didn’t internalize this mindset + went on to win 5 Emmys.

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It’s less about beauty + weight and more about owning your uniqueness.

Where would Melissa McCarthy be today if she allowed negative thoughts about her weight to sabotage her unlimited potential?

She surely didn’t tell herself she needed to be thin to succeed in Hollywood.  And now she + many other actresses are breaking the mold of what is deemed “beautiful”.

Ultimately, confidence is always beautiful.  You can be (more…)

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What To Do When You Are Not Booking The Job: 7 Tips To Turn Things Around

It can happen to any actor—you feel like you are doing everything right, but you are still not booking the job.  It’s easy to over-analyze your actions, your wardrobe, your choices, your hair, your age, or your talent. This kind of thinking can lead you to endless frustration.

If you feel that you are being a professional, showing up on time, being prepared, doing your best in the audition room, but just not booking, then it might be time to shift things internally. (more…)

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Bring A Sense Of Freedom + Play…

When you bring a sense of freedom + play into your work, you appear so engaged + effortless, that you draw people to you.

When you are present in each real moment, the audience can’t wait to see what you will do next.

When you are planning + plotting what you will do, the audience is somehow not feeling authenticity from you, since in life, we cannot know what will happen next, until it actually happens.

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Here are some simple, but effective mantras to remind you to bring a sense of freedom + play to all you do… (more…)

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