Many (many) years ago, I was on the edge of a devastating breakup and days like Valentine’s Day would spark a sadness within me that would turn the rest of February into my least favorite month.
Especially since I had a timeline of how my life was going to go + clearly I was “off schedule,” since I was going to be “married with kids by age 33.”
When we feel lost in the woods and we can’t seem to find our way, it’s easy to think that things will never change.
Time definitely gives you perspective, and as I look back now, this is what I wish I knew….
Love wherever you are in your journey and know that it is all leading you to the light.
– Wendy Braun
Because ultimately, life had even better plans for me.
And interestingly enough, it was after spending a year where I focused on giving myself everything I thought I needed a relationship to give to me, that an old friend (who I did a film with 10 years prior) came along and changed my life.
Today, I am so thankful to be standing here as the wife of this wonderful man and the mother of these 2 amazing boys, on the edge of the life I was meant to have. (Side note: I got married at 37, had my first child at 38 and 2nd child at 41).
So, whether you have a family or you just got over a devastating breakup, whether you have auditions today or haven’t booked a job in months, whether you have 2 credits on your resume or 20, I hope you find a way to love + appreciate where you are on your journey today.
And in those dark times where you feel lost, try giving yourself what you are wishing a booking or a relationship would come along and give you.
How do you do that?
Here are 3 steps to take when you feel lost (and how to feel good again):
1) DEFINE THE FEELING
Ask this question: “What is the feeling I want to experience from having _________? “ (fill in what you think is missing (a booking, a boyfriend, a perfect body etc)
This helps you define what it is you’re searching for: love, validation, recognition, appreciation, acceptance etc.
2) DECLARE WHAT YOU WILL DO TO CREATE THIS FEELING
Instead of needing a thing or a person or an external circumstance to change the way you feel, you’ll take your power back by finding a way to give yourself this feeling now.
Ask this question: “What can I do today to give myself the love, validation, recognition, appreciation or acceptance I am searching for?”
3) COMMIT TO TAKING ACTION
Now, commit to doing whatever you need to create that feeling, whether it’s an act of self-care, going to a great workout class, or listening to this fee guided meditation, do something to help you create the feeling you are after.
Imagine showing up at your next audition (or your next date) already feeling loved, validated, recognized, appreciated + accepted just as you are.
What might happen? You will light up in a whole different way.
And instead of needing the thing, or the person, or the booking to make you feel different, you will start embodying these feelings now.
Remember, that no matter where you are in the woods, trust that it is all leading you to the light.
The secret is knowing that what you’re searching for is already within you.
And life might be turning out better than you can possibly imagine (no matter how it looks rigtht now).
In fact, the other day, my youngest son asked, “What’s the biggest mistake you made, that turned out okay?”
And I said, “Dating the guy before Daddy,”
And then I thought about it, and told him, “You know, now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t a mistake, because I gained so much clarity about what I did and didn’t want in a partner, and I learned so much about myself and what I still needed to work on.”
As I look back on so many seeming “mistakes” in my life, I now realize they were all stepping stones, leading me to more light, expansion + evolution.
And isn’t that what we’re here for?
I hope this helps you to make peace with wherever you are right now and know that you can get to where you want to go.
You may just have to let go of your timeline and focusing on what is missing. And instead, lean to the light.
Leave a comment below + let me know what resonates with you.
Here’s to a week of leaning into the light.
Love + Gratitude,
– Wendy
P.S. Feeling unsure of your next step? I’ve been there, and I’ve helped thousands of actors and creatives find their way. Join my free training to discover how to overcome obstacles and move forward with clarity. Start your free training here!
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11 thoughts on “3 Steps To Take When You Feel Lost (And How To Feel Good Again)”
Thank you.
You are so welcome!
Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much!
Xx
Meghan
Thank you Wendy. I’ve been in that lost, dark place before which is the worst place to be, and someone offering a beam of light can make all the difference in the world. And I have absolutely hated Valentine’s Day at times too. Thank you so much for this compassionate and hopeful practical advice. I’m going to work through the steps for a couple of issues, including my desire to find a soul mate. Blessings to you
So glad this spoke to you Trish! And yes indeed, these steps will help in so many ways. I know your soul mate is out there. Now, you just get to become a match in how much LOVE you can flow YOUR WAY in the meantime. xoxo
I am reminding myself to stay open even when my negative thoughts are saying this and that really crazy loud at this point right now, but I know that is not truth of who I am.
I am an amazing person who has a lot of love to give to the world and I will find a way to share the unique and powerful me that I am, while honoring my health mental and physical wellbeing.
Hi Wendy! I absolutedly LOVE this particular post! It’s right on!!
I am committed to be my best companion.
Virtual hug,
Marina
I love when you share stories like this, Wendy. It’s calming to learn from people who have achieved great things (a wonderful family and career, for instance) yet didn’t achieve it *when* they thought they would. It’s nice to know that “everything is going to be okay” – especially when we embrace where we currently are.
Per usual, this blog came at a great time 🙂 My morning routine has gotten wonky since I experienced a setback and put my workout routine on hold. Workouts give me a feeling of accomplishment that I’ve never thought to search for elsewhere, because it gives such specific results. I’m going to incorporate this practice so that I can feel my best for where I am TODAY, regardless of what that might entail.
Thank you as always, Wendy 🙂
I love that you posted on this blog Tony back in 2018.
Hi Wendy.
Reading your weekly Monday mindset has brought tears to my eyes. Today was one of those days I wish I could rewind. I had a moment where I completely pretended to be someone else, dribbling on and creating an entire false story to someone purely to seem more interesting, more eventful, more together. Just more in general really! I have felt lousy ever since just asking myself ‘why did I say that, why did I do that, why am I such an idiot’ etc etc! But for once I actually know the answers to those questions and reading your blog just now simply amplified everything I am feeling. I always enjoy and completely resonate with your words and thoughts, but I think now things are finally sinking in and I’m ready to take the action I need to take.
Thank you, I feel encouraged and inspired by the stories you share, even from the other side of the world!
Raya x
Thank you Wendy for that inspirational email. I have been feeling like I have let myself down when I first got into the business I did background from that I booked numerous speaking roles on TV filming commercial and then hit a brick wall. I am actually taking Spanish classes to regain my Spanish-speaking heritage and in the gym working out I went from 225 lbs to 180 lbs. I’m hoping that with my new confident build I will be able to book and get more roles. My next step is to save up some cash to purchase your program I believe in what you say and I think you’re absolutely amazing as a mom as an actress as a mentor thank you and have a great day God bless