3 Steps To Take When You Feel Lost

Thirteen years ago, I was on the edge of a devastating breakup and days like Valentine’s Day would spark a sadness within me that would turn the rest of February into my least favorite month.

Especially since I had a timeline of how my life was going to go + clearly I was “off schedule,” since I was going to be married with kids by age 33.

When we feel lost in the woods and we can’t seem to find our way, it’s easy to think thinks will never change.

Time definitely gives you perspective, and as I look back now, this is what I wish I knew….

Love wherever you are in your journey and know that it is all leading you to the light.

Because ultimately, life had even better plans for me.

And interestingly enough, it was after spending a year where I focused on giving myself everything I thought I needed a relationship to give to me, that an old friend (who I did a film with 10 years prior) came along and changed my life.

Today, I’m so thankful to be standing here as the wife of this wonderful man and the mother of these 2 amazing boys, on the edge of the life I was meant to have.


So, whether you have a family or you just got over a devastating breakup, whether you have auditions today or haven’t booked a job in months, whether you have 2 credits on your resume or 20, I hope you find a way to love + appreciate where you are on your journey today.

And in those dark times where you feel lost, try giving yourself what you are wishing a booking or a relationship would come along and give you.

How do you do that?



Ask this question: “What is the feeling I want to experience from having _________? “ (fill in what you think is missing (a booking, a boyfriend, a perfect body etc)

This helps you define what it is you’re searching for: love, validation, recognition, appreciation, acceptance etc.


Instead of needing a thing or a person or a circumstance to change the way you feel, you’ll take your power back by finding a way to give yourself this feeling now.

Ask this question: “What will I do today to give myself the love, validation, recognition, appreciation or acceptance I am searching for?”


Now, commit to doing whatever you need to create that feeling, whether it’s an act of self-care, going to a great workout class, or listening to a guided meditation, do something to help you create the feeling you are after.

Imagine showing up at your next audition (or your next date) already feeling loved, validated, recognized, appreciated + accepted just as you are. You will light up in a whole different way.

Remember, that no matter where you are in the woods, know it is all leading you to the light.

The secret is knowing that what you’re searching for is already within you.

Leave a comment below + let me know what feeling you are after + what you are going to do today to create this feeling within you?

Here’s to a week of tuning into the light.

Love + Gratitude,

– Wendy

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4 thoughts on “3 Steps To Take When You Feel Lost”

  1. Jose Santiago Jr

    Thank you Wendy for that inspirational email. I have been feeling like I have let myself down when I first got into the business I did background from that I booked numerous speaking roles on TV filming commercial and then hit a brick wall. I am actually taking Spanish classes to regain my Spanish-speaking heritage and in the gym working out I went from 225 lbs to 180 lbs. I’m hoping that with my new confident build I will be able to book and get more roles. My next step is to save up some cash to purchase your program I believe in what you say and I think you’re absolutely amazing as a mom as an actress as a mentor thank you and have a great day God bless

  2. Hi Wendy.
    Reading your weekly Monday mindset has brought tears to my eyes. Today was one of those days I wish I could rewind. I had a moment where I completely pretended to be someone else, dribbling on and creating an entire false story to someone purely to seem more interesting, more eventful, more together. Just more in general really! I have felt lousy ever since just asking myself ‘why did I say that, why did I do that, why am I such an idiot’ etc etc! But for once I actually know the answers to those questions and reading your blog just now simply amplified everything I am feeling. I always enjoy and completely resonate with your words and thoughts, but I think now things are finally sinking in and I’m ready to take the action I need to take.
    Thank you, I feel encouraged and inspired by the stories you share, even from the other side of the world!
    Raya x

  3. I love when you share stories like this, Wendy. It’s calming to learn from people who have achieved great things (a wonderful family and career, for instance) yet didn’t achieve it *when* they thought they would. It’s nice to know that “everything is going to be okay” – especially when we embrace where we currently are.

    Per usual, this blog came at a great time 🙂 My morning routine has gotten wonky since I experienced a setback and put my workout routine on hold. Workouts give me a feeling of accomplishment that I’ve never thought to search for elsewhere, because it gives such specific results. I’m going to incorporate this practice so that I can feel my best for where I am TODAY, regardless of what that might entail.

    Thank you as always, Wendy 🙂

  4. Hi Wendy! I absolutedly LOVE this particular post! It’s right on!!
    I am committed to be my best companion.
    Virtual hug,

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