When I was 22 and still living in Chicago, I applied for an internship at the Television Academy of Arts & Sciences summer program in Los Angeles.

To spend a summer in Los Angeles, working in the entertainment industry at Emmy Headquarters sounded amazing, even if I wouldn’t be paid to do it.

I had to send in a video interview (in the 1990’s this was a WAY clunkier process than it is now, including recording on a giant camera and Fed Ex-ing a VHS tape), and then I had to wait for a letter of confirmation.

The letter came, but it said that “although they loved my interview, I was not chosen for the summer internship.”

I remember feeling devastated by the news, because in my mind, I could see myself living in Los Angeles, and I thought this was “the way” to get there.

The next summer, my mother took me to visit Los Angeles, so I could get a lay of the land (it’s sprawling). I took dance classes at “The Edge” on Cole Avenue, met with some dance agents and decided that I was going to move there.

Then, in January 1994, my best friend drove with me from Chicago to LA (in my maroon Chevy Beretta) and we arrived 5 days before the Northridge Earthquake on January 17th.

It was terrifying to be jolted out of bed at 4 a.m. and as Midwesterner, I literally had no idea what it was. I thought the world was at war, and they were starting with this Melrose Place style apartment building in Burbank.

I called my mother immediately, and she asked “Are you going to stay?” And I said, well, “it’s January, it’s 80 degrees out, we’re watching the pool shake and…well, yes, I’m staying.”

QUICK SIDE NOTE: My friend and I were supposed to be extras on 90210 that day, and she started getting ready because she couldn’t wait to go film at “The Peach Pit.” I told her, “Uh….I don’t think that’s going to happen today.”  And instead, we drove around shocked looking at the devastating earthquake damage.

I had insomnia for the next 3 months, because I equated “going to sleep” with the trauma of being awakened by the entire earth shaking.

But through perseverance, deciding to dream big anyway and not listen to anyone who might tell me “I can’t,” I managed to secure a production assistant job on The Academy Awards by March, and was working backstage for ABC on The Oscars.

We didn’t have cell phones back then, but I had access to the press room (and a small pocket camera), and watched star after star talk to the press after winning their Oscars. In fact, I snapped this photo of Tom Cruise and Paul Newman celebrating…

I rode the back elevator with Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford, and Steven Spielberg, and exchanged compliments with Sharon Stone in the backstage hallway.

I met Bruce Springsteen during sound check rehearsals (he was nominated (and won) for Best Original Song for Streets of Philadelphia), and in a brief encounter backstage I was able to tell him that “His ‘Born in The USA’ tour was my first concert in Soldier Field, and that even though I was on one end zone and he was on the other, I felt like he was singing to me.” And he smiled, and said “Thanks darlin,” and then gave me a giant hug.

These memories all came roaring back today, as I sit here, in my 10th year as a Television Academy Member, with now over 80 TV and Film credits, having just finished the nominating round of voting for my peers on The Emmy’s.

In fact, this year, I was asked to be a Performers’ Peer Group Executive Committee Member, which has been an honor to serve on the board.

And in these full circle moments, I’m reminded not only how far I’ve come and who I had to become along the way to not only come to Los Angeles, but to stay and turn my dreams into reality.

I share these stories with you for a few reasons…and in looking back, I realize that all along the way, throughout my entire life, I’ve been seeking the lessons, the deeper meaning, the gifts that appear in the setbacks and how to turn them into stepping stones.

Here are 3 Lessons Learned From My Early Days:

1. The Setback Is The Stepping Stone To More Clarity

Our analytical mind wants to plan and predict, and when things don’t go as our logical mind has already mapped out in our head, it can throw us for a loop (or two). So when I didn’t get chosen for the Television Academy Summer Internship, I could have used that rejection to keep me from pursuing my passion or moving to LA. But why? That just was “one way” to get to LA. There are a million ways.

Use the setback to help you clarify what it is you do want, while trusting in the future you cannot yet see. Allow “the void” to help you deepen your resolve, and know that if you can see it in your mind, you can invite into you life. But the key is that it will come in a way you can’t quite predict, and it will most often be on Universe’s timeline, not yours.

2. Go After Your Biggest Dreams (Even If You Don’t Know “How” It Will Happen).

Life is too short to play small and then wonder “what might have been.” I’ve been in LA for 30 years now, happily married for 17 years, with two beautiful teenage sons, living in my dream home, traveling the world together, and enjoying a rewarding acting career and a fulfilling role as a mentor and coach to creatives in 25 different countries. To live my biggest dreams while helping so many others do the same has been life-changing on a soul level.

I couldn’t have planned it all this way. I had to take the leap into the unknown and figure it out as I go. As a woman, as an actress, as a wife, as mother, as an entrepreneur, and even as a rescue dog owner. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable will expand your life in every way.

3. People Will Remember How You Make Them Feel (More Than What You Say)

I’ve worked with a lot of world-class talent in my career, actors, musicians, athletes and what I have learned from interacting with so many people at the top of their game, is that other people may not remember what you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Other people may not remember what you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

If you can walk in the world today, knowing that we are all actually connected, and that no one is “above or below” anyone, you might see yourself and others a bit differently. Then, in every encounter, ask yourself one question before responding or reacting to people…”What would love do?” And then do that.

Ask yourself one question before responding or reacting to people…”What would love do?”

Here it is, 30 years later, and I still remember the kindness of Bruce Springsteen. He made me feel, in that moment, backstage at The Academy Awards, just like he did in his concert….that he was just speaking or singing to me.

If you’re reading this, you are a creative warrior. I see your pain, your heartache, your struggles, your doubts, your dreams, and your biggest desires.

And if I can leave you with one thought today it is this…

You wouldn’t have the dream in your heart, if you weren’t meant to live it.

So use the setback as a stepping stone, allow it to further help you define what it is you really want, then go after it with all your heart, allowing space for the unknown to surprise and delight you. Trust in the future you cannot see.

And when speaking to yourself and others, try asking, “What would love do?”

And then…#KeepGoingSunshine.

Let me know in the comments what resonated with you the most and what you are taking with you today.

Love + Gratitude,

Wendy

PS: Ready to turn your setbacks into powerful stepping stones? Start your transformation here!