You most likely got into this business because you love storytelling.
Inspiring and entertaining people through storytelling is an ancient ritual that has been passed down through the ages and to be part of bringing a story to life is a magical art form.
But today, I want to talk about the story you tell yourself.
In fact, the reason most actors donāt succeed has nothing to do with external factors.
Itās in the internal story you tell yourself about what is possible.
You know, those stories you have on repeat in your mind after being in this business awhile (months, years, or maybe even decades).
Maybe your story has been sounding something like thisā¦.
- This business is so hard.
- You have to know someone.
- I donāt have enough credits.
- I donāt have the right look.
- I need to be 10 (20, 30) pounds lighter.
- Iāll never find a good agent.
- They only cast social media influencers.
- I never get callbacks.
- My ethnicity never gets cast.
- I donāt memorize well.
Any of these sound familiar? Keep in mind, your awareness and willingness to take responsibility is everything.
Why? You canāt flip the script on your story if youāre not aware (and taking ownership) that you are the one who wrote it in the first place.
Look, I get it Itās easy to take one rejection (or even a few) and give it a some grand meaning, repeat it often, and thereby create a new story that doesnāt serve you.
Then, over time, odds are you start collecting evidence to support this new story + prove to yourself that itās real.
But if you were to stop yourself in your tracks, (before you added meaning to an event), you would see that itās the story you create around the event that is the only thing that is keeping you from what you want.
So instead, you can turn all those lies turn into:
- I am finding my way in this business.
- Iām meeting the right people at the right time.
- I trust I am exactly where I need to be.
- My look is unique + I attract roles that are right for me.
- I am ready to be seen exactly as I am.
- I do all I need to do to become a match to great representation.
- I no longer focus on what I canāt control.
- I am resilient + I keep going, getting better every time.
- I trust in the future I cannot see.
- When I understand the scene, memorizing comes easily to me.Ā
Now imagine, what might start showing up with some of these as your new stories.
Think it wonāt make a difference?
Hereās how telling a new story helped me soar in the face of multiple rejections.
When I was first starting out, I had the top 10 commercial agents turn me down.
They told me I was too tall, not commercial enough, they had too many white women in their 20ās (this was a few years ago), thereās too much competition, and my personal favoriteā¦they already had someone exactly like me. (Uh, well then I should meet her, because Iām sure sheās amazing! Spoiler alert: I never did, because they never signed me.)
Sure, those rejections stung. Sure, I cried in my car on every freeway in Los Angeles. Sure, I had some really down days.
But, ultimately, I didnāt make any of it my story.
And because I didnāt allow all those rejections to define me, I was able to not only find a smaller agent rather quickly, but book my first national, which eventually led to a new agent, with more bookings ,and then another agent where I booked 19 national commercials in one year.
And three years after getting told āNOā very loudly by 10 different agencies, I was offered a 26-spot commercial campaign that led to a 3 year spokesperson contract.
My story after being rejected by those 10 agents early on in my career became āOh, I guess they donāt get me. Oh well. I know the right person will.ā
That story I told myself effected my actions, my reactions, my auditions, and my perseverance.
SO, what is a story you are telling yourself that is no longer serving you in your acting career (or your life)?
Let me know in the comments below if itās one from above, then also write your new story (or let me know if you need help rewriting it).
Whatever you choose to do this week, start noticing the story you tell and make sure itās an empowering one.
Love + Gratitude,
– Wendy