I know we’re all trying to find some balance these days, whether you’re juggling parenting, kids being back in school, self-taping, your acting career, your day job, finding a new day job or just finding your sanity lately.
I want to share some insights I have picked up along the way from my (now over a decade) journey as a parent, an actress and a working mom…so you can apply these lessons to your own life.
(And if you’re not a parent, you can swap “my kids” and add in “myself,” so essentially you’re parenting yourself).
It’s definitely been a rollercoaster ride, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Along the way, I’ve learned to celebrate progress over perfection as well as these insights. Enjoy!
15 Lessons I’ve Learned On My Journey Juggling Career + Family
1. When I show my kids what it looks like to dream big, they learn that anything is possible.
2. When I show my kids what it looks like to fail + get back up again, they learn to not be afraid to try new things.
3. When I show my kids what it looks like to be sad or disappointed, they learn that it’s okay to express themselves.
4. When I show my kids what it looks like to cry, they learn that all emotions are energy in motion + meant to be felt.
5. When I show my kids what it looks like to be a mother, an actress, a wife, an entrepreneur, they learn that they, too, don’t only have to be just one thing.
6. When I show my kids what it looks like to do your best + still not get the job, they learn what resilience looks like.
7. When I show my kids what it looks like to want something + have it not work out immediately the way you want it, they learn what patience + perseverance looks like.
8. When I show my kids what it looks like to take care of myself, they learn to value their own well-being.
9. When I show my kids what it looks like to pursue excellence, they learn to raise the bar for themselves.
10. When I show my kids what it looks like to put the phone down, be present, spend time, to truly listen to what they have to say, they learn that they are valuable.
11. When I show my kids what it looks like to be scared, uncertain or fearful, but to take risks anyway, they learn to embrace the adventure of life.
12. When I show my kids what it looks like to find joy in helping others, they learn compassion.
13. When I show my kids what it looks like to find the beauty in nature, they learn that abundance abounds.
14. When I show my kids what it looks like to find the good in the toughest of situations, they learn the power of a positive mindset.
15. When I show my kids what it looks like to be kind to those who are different than you, they learn empathy.
We all want the best for our kids, but it’s in showing them that it’s okay to fail, to be disappointed, to risk, to get hurt, to get rejected, to fall down, but to also always get up every single time, that we ultimately teach them to rise.
It’s funny, as I put this list together, I also realize that my kids have really been my best teachers.
I hope this helps you find some balance today with all you’re doing, embrace the rollercoaster ride, and also know that you can absolutely juggle both career and family.
Let me know in the comments below, which lesson spoke to you most today.
How have you been feeling lately? Have you been feeling inspired + motivated or lethargic + unproductive? I know the last 12 months have been a roller-coaster ride.
As we begin the 3rd month of 2021, I hope you are making your mental health + self-care your #1 priority. (And yes, it effects everything you do for your acting career).
How do you know if you have an effective daily well-being routine? Here’s a great way to check in:
Have you been allowing outer circumstances + events to dictate how you feel each day or have you been aligning your mind + getting out ahead of it all, as you begin your day?
To be on a creative path, is to be on a spiritual path. The good news, is you have more creative control of your life than you might think, even when external circumstances seem limiting.
So often we think that life is just happening to us, and we forget that our energy and perspective plays a vital role in the unfolding of it all.
Best-selling author, Dr. Joe Dispenza says,
“When it comes down to it, there are 2 ways to approach our lives: either as the victims to our lives or the creators of our lives. To live as the victim is to live within the limited belief system that everything in our outer world is happening to us.
Simply put, when things are good, you feel good. When things are bad, you feel bad. That’s the polarized world of victim consciousness in a nutshell.
Creative consciousness, on the other hand, is the awareness that when you feel joy, love, or gratitude before your creation is made manifest—& you combine that energy of joy, love, or gratitude with the intent of new information—it is that elevated frequency that can carry that thought.”
Quotes like this always inspire me so much.
When you learn how to choose your thoughts + emotions (no matter what is going on in the outside world), you become a master of your life.
And what happens, is you begin to see yourself as infinite intelligence sees you.
In fact, here is what infinite intelligence would tell you today, my fellow creative warrior…
You matter. You belong. You are important. You are powerful. You are ready. Your time is now. You playing small does not serve the world. There will never be another you. You have many gifts to share. You have many amazing experiences ahead. You are worthy of all of life’s beautiful blessings. You are ready to receive.
Whether you’ve been part of this amazing community for years, or are just joining me, I wanted to share a deeply personal story with you today.
Everything we go through in our childhood affects who we become, and as I was thinking about “why I do this,” why do I help to uplift + empower actors to create major breakthroughs in their careers and their personal lives, well, it all begins with my story of how I grew up…
When I was growing up, I was deeply ashamed of my childhood home.
My mother, though she was amazing in so many ways + supportive of my creative endeavors, was also a compulsive hoarder.
Click the video below, as I reveal what I learned from growing up with shame, anxiety + around mental illness.
And if you prefer to read the story as I tell it, here is the rest of the transcript that begins above… (more…)
This past Saturday was #WorldMentalHealthDay. Honestly, I think mental health should be celebrated every day and not something we shine a spotlight on just once a year.
In fact, everything I write + create for actors is always done with the intention of helping you achieve greater mental health, inner peace + ultimate fulfillment on the way to achieving all of your dreams.
Ok, so I know this year has been a roller-coaster ride for all of us in different ways.
Maybe you’ve felt great one day, and been in a funk the next?
Perhaps you’ve gone from feeling productive to procrastinating…in a matter of minutes?
I get it and I’ve been there. I’ve definitely had up and down moments, days + weeks this year. Throw in political debates, social injustices + 8 months of a global pandemic, and well, it makes sense that our mental health has been challenged + tested.
But here’s what I’ve noticed, especially with all of the turmoil + uncertainty going on in the world…
If you are waiting for the outer conditions to change to determine how you’re going to feel on a daily basis, you will always feel powerless, because there is always going to be a condition that doesn’t please you.
When you begin the day reacting and responding to the news or social media, it’s easy to then turn against yourself (or even those around you) and focus on how you’re somehow failing or worry about what you haven’t accomplished yet.
So how do you take your own personal power back?
How do you boost your mood + create a compelling future?
Remind yourself that no matter what happened yesterday, last week or last month….
“What we do today is what matters most.” – Buddha
So, this is your chance to begin again, and use this week to reset, recharge + renew your own commitment to your own mental health.
What has been working for me this past week is by beginning the day (more…)
I know we often want the conditions to change so we can start feeling better.
As actors, we often spend a lot of time “hoping we will feel better when…we get a callback, we get a new agent, or when we book the job.”
Yes, I’ve done that too.
And now, there seems to be a collective “hoping we will feel better when….this pandemic is finally over.”
The reason this way of thinking makes us feel so powerless, is because we are allowing the external conditions (the callback, the agent, the job, the pandemic), to dictate how we feel.
Sure, we’d all like to be back working (and I’d love for my kids to return to in-person school next week), but I am reminded during these times, that we do have the power to choose our focus.And it is our focus that determines how we feel.
Think about it. Have you ever been stuck in traffic and noticed one driver who is angry and frustrated and another driver who is singing and dancing along to their music? Same situation. Different focus. DIfferent feeling.
I’ve had my own share of ups and downs these past few months, but in sitting down to record this month’s guided meditation for my Spotlight Club + Community, this new math equation came to me. An equation for feeling bliss, right now. (Yes, even among all kinds of conditions that I may not like).
This equation has reminded me that it’s not about waiting for the perfect conditions to appear, but having a process for finding the light even on my darkest days. I hope it helps you too.
Which element of this equation might you focus on more today?
Imagine how it would feel to practice all five of these elements, every single day for a week.
Have you been feeling off your game lately or finding it hard to focus? I get it.
What usually stops us from moving forward on any given day might feel like external circumstances, but ultimately it all begins within.
It’s understandable that in times of uncertainty, you might wake up in the morning and one of the following is going on in your mind.
You’re filled with fear.
You’re failing to focus.
You’re fueled by false beliefs.
Why? The mind is rooted in limitation + fear.
But the heart is rooted in expansion + love.
When we are born, we are all heart + pure love, but as we get older, we start operating from the mind.
Over time, that limited mind voice gets louder and the heart voice becomes a whisper we almost can’t hear.
You want to create momentum in your life or your career, but all too often, your action gets drowned out by mental logic, other’s opinions + historical thinking about how it’s gone for you in the past.
That is what stops you. It’s what stops all of us from moving forward.
I’ll show you how it works….and you can turn up the volume of the heart today.
Click the video below + learn 9 ways your limited mind is keeping you stuck, and what your expanded heart really wants you to know. (more…)
This past week has brought me to my knees so many times.
In light of the current events around racism and social injustice, I want to lovingly remind you that everything I create (whether it’s a program or a post) will always come from a space that stands for love, inclusion, diversity, unity, peace, compassion and acceptance.
And yet, I too, have so much more to learn on the topic of racism.
If you want to educate yourself and take action, but aren’t sure where to begin, a friend shared this helpful guide: Anti-Racism Resource List Click Here To View.
I know that racism is taught. I know that it begins in the home.
This past week, I watched my 8-year-old son prepare his speech for his online 3rd grade class.
In a sea of famous people – former Presidents, artists and musicians, scientists, and more – he chose Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I cried at his timely choice and that he made it all on his own.
I cried helping him find quotes and talking about what they meant.
I cried explaining to him why I was crying, and though progress was made back then, there’s still so much more work to do.
I cried at the unity of 50 states and 18 countries coming together for one important cause.
I cried at the thought that his generation might actually experience (and become) the change that the world is asking for right now.
Change is upon us, and we are all feeling it.
Change is also messy, emotional, uncertain, painful + requires deep discomfort to really grow, learn and evolve.
So many feelings are coming up. We are seeing this on a global level and we are feeling it on an individual level.
As artists, I know we are feeling it, because that’s what we do. We feel. We empathize. We emote. We seek to understand the human condition.
But I also want to also remind you, that although we live in the digital age, you are not required to process your emotions in public.
Of course, I do hope you are taking time to process your emotions, release them in a way that is healthy and then do what feels best for you.
We all process things differently and we are all called to different actions that will drive us to different lanes.
Your lane might be writing.
Your lane might be donating.
Your lane might be protesting.
Your lane might be organizing.
Your lane might be volunteering.
Your lane might be painting a mural.
Your lane might be a dance or a song.
Your lane might be forwarding petitions.
Your lane might be talking to your children.
Your lane might be making a compelling video.
Your lane might be educating yourself in a new way.
Your lane might be tending to your own mental health.
Your lane might be doing what you can to stay sober today.
Some things to keep in mind:
1) Everyone’s lane is different.
2) Your lane might change from day to day.
3) Don’t feel guilty that you “should be” in all of the other lanes. It’s impossible.
4) Don’t worry about directing the traffic in the other lanes.
If we want to bring compassion, acceptance + love into the world, we must begin with ourselves.
So don’t judge yourself for whatever lane you are riding in on any given day.
As you soften your own self-judgment, and then let go of judging others for what they are doing or not doing, you are actually helping create the change that we are all seeking.
Be a beacon of love + light in whatever lane is calling you right now, and know that it does have a ripple effect.
And as the late, great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
This goes for how you treat yourself and others.
Be kind to yourself this week.
Be kind to others who don’t agree with you this week. (more…)
This theme (and your response to it) got me thinking about how so much of our worth + value has been tied up for so long in what we produce, what we do, and what we accomplish.
Many of us have spent years hustling, and being “busy doing more” to show ourselves (and anyone we think might be watching) that we are of value.
Even in our world of “show-business,” it really is all about show. When you book a job, it seems the minute you wrap, everyone wants to know, what’s next? What do you have to “show” for yourself?
But now that the world has essentially “stopped all the doing,” and our industry is on a global pause, it’s given each of us a time to re-evaluate how we perceive ourselves + even redefine what success truly means.
Does success mean being productive to the point of burnout + overwhelm?
Does success mean splitting your energy in a million different ways?
Does success mean hustling + being everything to everyone?
What if you used this time to think about where you were putting your energy, how it was (or wasn’t) serving you + how you can reshape your life moving forward.
And for those of you who love a good to-do list, I thought I’d put one together for your well-being.
When you align with the inner knowing that you don’t have to be productive to be of value, you can then choose activities, people + projects that light you up, instead of using any of it to prove your worthiness.
I BOOKED TWO ACTING GIGS IN THE SAME WEEK BECAUSE I HAD HER CD ON REPEAT!
"I listen to Wendy's guided meditations pretty much every chance I get. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have her amazing voice in my ear keeping me empowered, inspired + in the right mental space to persevere day in and day out. I booked two acting gigs in the same week because I had Wendy's Creating Powerful Auditions album on repeat. Thank you WENDY for your positivity + light!"
SINCE LISTENING TO YOUR GUIDED MEDITATIONS, I BOOKED 2 FEATURE FILMS
"I bought Creating Powerful Auditions and I listen to it every morning. "Empowering Myself" is my absolute favorite meditation, sometimes I put it on repeat until I fully and truly feel every declaration. Since I've been listening to your guided meditations I booked my first feature film + also recently booked the lead role in my first horror film. Thank you for coming into my life!”
I'VE TURNED A SLOW STREAK INTO A BOOKING STREAK AND I FEEL REALLY EMPOWERED.
"Wendy is so generous with her knowledge and understanding of the deeper, inside work that goes into living a healthy, happy, well balanced actor life. Her daily inspirations mean so much to me...and I'm grateful for the custom guided meditation she wrote for me. I've turned a slow streak into a booking streak & I feel really empowered."
Community, iCarly, Good Luck Charlie
YOUR AFFIRMATIONS ALLOWED ME TO STEP OUT OF THE FEAR AND BE PRESENT IN THE ROOM.
"I just returned from an audition after listening to your guided meditations. Your affirmations allowed me to step out of the fear and be present in the room. As I waited for my audition I envisioned the session being successful and feeling empowered afterward. And it was and I did."
I BOOKED THE JOB! LISTENING TO CREATING POWERFUL AUDITIONS MADE A DIFFERENCE!
"Been listening to your "Creating Powerful Auditions" mp3 daily since purchasing about a week ago. Listened to it on the way to an audition...took a few moments before leaving my car to do the visualizations. I walked into the audition room feeling totally empowered, feeling light. I booked the job. I feel your album made a difference. Thank you, Wendy."