I know we’re all trying to find some balance these days, whether you’re juggling parenting, homeschooling your kids, self-taping, your acting career, your day job, finding a new day job or just finding your sanity lately.
I was recently asked to be a guest speaker in Women In Film’s upcoming Speaker Series on Family Ties: Finding Your Balance While Juggling Kids + A Career In The Entertainment Industry. I’ll be joining show-runners, directors, producer, writers and actors for an empowering conversation about balancing it all, and as I was thinking about it, today’s post flowed out of me.
I wanted to share it with you, so you can apply these lessons to your own life.
(And if you’re not a parent, you can swap “my kids” and add in “myself,” and anytime I reference “they” just replace it with “I,” so essentially you’re parenting yourself).
It’s definitely been a rollercoaster ride, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Along the way, I’ve learned to celebrate progress over perfection as well as these insights. Enjoy!
15 Lessons I’ve Learned On My Journey Juggling Career + Family
1. When I show my kids what it looks like to dream big, they learn that anything is possible.
2. When I show my kids what it looks like to fail + get back up again, they learn to not be afraid to try new things.
3. When I show my kids what it looks like to be sad or disappointed, they learn that it’s okay to express themselves.
4. When I show my kids what it looks like to cry, they learn that all emotions are energy in motion + meant to be felt.
5. When I show my kids what it looks like to be a mother, an actress, a wife, an entrepreneur, they learn that they, too, don’t only have to be just one thing.
6. When I show my kids what it looks like to do your best + still not get the job, they learn what resilience looks like.
7. When I show my kids what it looks like to want something + have it not work out immediately the way you want it, they learn what patience + perseverance looks like.
8. When I show my kids what it looks like to take care of myself, they learn to value their own well-being.
9. When I show my kids what it looks like to pursue excellence, they learn to raise the bar for themselves.
10. When I show my kids what it looks like to put the phone down, be present, spend time, to truly listen to what they have to say, they learn that they are valuable.
11. When I show my kids what it looks like to be scared, uncertain or fearful, but to take risks anyway, they learn to embrace the adventure of life.
12. When I show my kids what it looks like to find joy in helping others, they learn compassion.
13. When I show my kids what it looks like to find the beauty in nature, they learn that abundance abounds.
14. When I show my kids what it looks like to find the good in the toughest of situations, they learn the power of a positive mindset.
15. When I show my kids what it looks like to be kind to those who are different than you, they learn empathy.
We all want the best for our kids, but it’s in showing them that it’s okay to fail, to be disappointed, to risk, to get hurt, to get rejected, to fall down, but to also always get up every single time, that we ultimately teach them to rise.
It’s funny, as I put this list together, I also realize that my kids have really been my best teachers.
I hope this helps you find some balance today with all you’re doing, embrace the rollercoaster ride, and also know that you can absolutely juggle both career and family.
Come join us for more on this conversation about being a working parent in the industry. RSVP HERE for the Women In Film Speaker Series: Family Ties: Finding Your Balance While Juggling Kids + A Career In The Entertainment Industry. It’s free and virtual.
Let me know in the comments below, which lesson spoke to you most today.
Here’s to a week of finding balance through it all.
I know we often want the conditions to change so we can start feeling better.
As actors, we often spend a lot of time “hoping we will feel better when…we get a callback, we get a new agent, or when we book the job.”
Yes, I’ve done that too.
And now, there seems to be a collective “hoping we will feel better when….this pandemic is finally over.”
The reason this way of thinking makes us feel so powerless, is because we are allowing the external conditions (the callback, the agent, the job, the pandemic), to dictate how we feel.
Sure, we’d all like to be back working (and I’d love for my kids to return to in-person school next week), but I am reminded during these times, that we do have the power to choose our focus.And it is our focus that determines how we feel.
Think about it. Have you ever been stuck in traffic and noticed one driver who is angry and frustrated and another driver who is singing and dancing along to their music? Same situation. Different focus. DIfferent feeling.
I’ve had my own share of ups and downs these past few months, but in sitting down to record this month’s guided meditation for my Spotlight Club + Community, this new math equation came to me. An equation for feeling bliss, right now. (Yes, even among all kinds of conditions that I may not like).
This equation has reminded me that it’s not about waiting for the perfect conditions to appear, but having a process for finding the light even on my darkest days. I hope it helps you too.
Which element of this equation might you focus on more today?
Imagine how it would feel to practice all five of these elements, every single day for a week.
This training has made such a big impact on actors, because it’s all based on what is working right now, amidst the current climate and conditions in our world + the industry.
It’s fresh perspectives, real life stories, and tangible tools you can implement today.
Then, I’ll show you exactly how to apply what you learn to your daily life right now – so you can feel empowered + become unstoppable (instead of simply adding more “should do’s” to your plate).
What I’ve learned about getting big results in my life, whether it’s becoming fit (in my body or mind) or up-leveling my life and career, is that it’s never about one, big giant moment, (that’s just what most people see on Instagram).
Big results come from small, committed daily actions.
And look, I know right now, many of us feel “off our game” and “off our routine.”
So. if there is one action today that will help you create real momentum this week, this month and this year, it’s (more…)
Best selling author + leadership expert John Maxwell states, “You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”
In other words, big results come from small, committed daily actions.
But what about right now, in the middle of a pandemic, when everything feels…off?
Well, next weekend, you’re invited to attend a free LIVE virtual training, where I am going to dive deep into this topic + share fresh perspectives, true stories, tangible tools and easy action steps that you can implement immediately (yes even right now, in the midst of the uncertainty in the world + in our industry).
Secure your seat to join me LIVE (for free from anywhere in the world) and learn:
This theme (and your response to it) got me thinking about how so much of our worth + value has been tied up for so long in what we produce, what we do, and what we accomplish.
Many of us have spent years hustling, and being “busy doing more” to show ourselves (and anyone we think might be watching) that we are of value.
Even in our world of “show-business,” it really is all about show. When you book a job, it seems the minute you wrap, everyone wants to know, what’s next? What do you have to “show” for yourself?
But now that the world has essentially “stopped all the doing,” and our industry is on a global pause, it’s given each of us a time to re-evaluate how we perceive ourselves + even redefine what success truly means.
Does success mean being productive to the point of burnout + overwhelm?
Does success mean splitting your energy in a million different ways?
Does success mean hustling + being everything to everyone?
What if you used this time to think about where you were putting your energy, how it was (or wasn’t) serving you + how you can reshape your life moving forward.
And for those of you who love a good to-do list, I thought I’d put one together for your well-being.
When you align with the inner knowing that you don’t have to be productive to be of value, you can then choose activities, people + projects that light you up, instead of using any of it to prove your worthiness.
This week begins the 3rd month of 2020. How has your energy been lately? Have you been feeling inspired + motivated or lethargic + unproductive?
Have you been allowing outer circumstances + events to dictate how you feel each day or have you been aligning your mind + getting out ahead of it all, before you even leave your home?
To be on a creative path, is to be on a spiritual path. The good news, is you have more creative control of your life than you might think, (and that all limitation is self-imposed).
So often we think that life is just happening to us, and we forget that our energy plays a vital role in the unfolding of it all.
Best-selling author, Dr. Joe Dispenza says,
“When it comes down to it, there are 2 ways to approach our lives: either as the victims to our lives or the creators of our lives. To live as the victim is to live within the limited belief system that everything in our outer world is happening to us.
Simply put, when things are good, you feel good. When things are bad, you feel bad. That’s the polarized world of victim consciousness in a nutshell.
Creative consciousness, on the other hand, is the awareness that when you feel joy, love, or gratitude before your creation is made manifest—& you combine that energy of joy, love, or gratitude with the intent of new information—it is that elevated frequency that can carry that thought.”
Quotes like this always inspire me so much.
When you learn how to choose your thoughts + emotions, you become a master of your life.
And what happens, is you begin to see yourself as infinite intelligence sees you.
In fact, here is what infinite intelligence would tell you today…
You matter. You belong. You are important. You are powerful. You are ready. Your time is now. You playing small does not serve the world. There will never be another you. You have many gifts to share. You have many amazing experiences ahead. You are worthy of all of life’s beautiful blessings. You are ready to receive.
We all want the conditions to change to bring us happiness. If we could only book the job, find the mate, win the Oscar….then, we’d feel better.
At the root of all that is feeling like somehow we are not enough, or worthy or valuable without the external condition we want being met.
I get it. I’ve been there. Heck, I was there a few weeks ago when 2 auditions in one day turned into….booking neither.
We put our hearts + souls into every audition, and when it doesn’t turn into a booking, it can chip away at who we think we are.
Now, I love that I get to play for a living, and I was proud of the work I did in both of those auditions, but it got me thinking about how much we define ourselves by whether we book the job or not + how dangerous that can be to our self-esteem.
So, my #MondayMotivation is for you to begin the week knowing this…
Whether you booked a job this month (or year) or not.
Even if you had 5 auditions with no callbacks.
Even if you have friends whose lives look perfect on the outside.
Even if you’re going through a rough time.
Even if you just got your heart broken.
Even if you don’t know how you’re going to pay your rent.
Even if you’re feeling sad.
Even if you’re feeling frustrated.
Even if your big dreams haven’t come true yet.
Even if you wonder how they ever will.
Please know, that your happiness, doesn’t lie in the next “booking.”
Sure, it’s fun to book the job, but don’t spend your days between now + then waiting to be happy, to feel like you’re enough, to feel worthy or to feel valuable.
Your happiness and all those feelings are a gift you can give yourself TODAY.
No matter where you are in your life or career (even if it’s not quite where you thought you would be by now), please breathe this in…
Sometimes it’s the smallest shift that can produce the biggest results.
I see it every day with the hundreds of amazing actors I have the privilege of mentoring in my course + in my private coaching community and I always marvel at how easily + quickly the inner breakthroughs invite in the outer breakthroughs.
If you’ve been putting in a lot of effort this year + already feeling exhausted, I want to help remind you of who you really are + encourage you to pause today, let go of limitation + breathe in the feelings of abundance.
You are abundant at your core. Everything about you is abundant.
From the cells in your body to the neural pathways in your brain, to the taste buds on your tongue, you are made up of pure abundance.
You are worthy of your biggest dreams + you have the ability to magnetize what you want towards you.
It all begins with your emotions. since what you feel, you attract + what you imagine, you become.
Anything you were taught growing up about money or success that isn’t in alignment with pure + total abundance, you can take a moment, to simply breathe, release + let go of it all now.
Do this quick breathing + expansion exercise with me now… (more…)
I love helping actors break through barriers + feel a major shift in under 90 minutes.
“I was feeling a hollowness of something missing in my life + career when I went to see Wendy live. Not only did she speak to my soul, but I couldn’t believe how a quickly things turned around for me.” – Denisse O.
“For people who are lucky enough to see Wendy live, her free masterclass changes lives. It just does. She meets you where you are, shows you the walls that have been blocking you, and then lovingly helps you to break them down.” – Janna C.
2) Recommit this month to the spiritual practice of daily gratitude.
So often we forget that no matter how things have gone for us lately, we can begin again….today.
“Today + tomorrow can be very different from yesterday, if you can let yesterday go + focus on today. Today + tomorrow are about your now vibration + you have complete control over that. Look for things to feel good about + watch how everything in your life will unfold to reflect that good feeling vibration.” – Abraham-Hicks
Nothing is more important than feeling good. It’s actually why you want everything you are seeking, for the feelings they will bring.
But the real secret to experiencing more joy now while also manifesting your desires, is not waiting them to arrive to feel better, but feeling good along the way.
And the fastest way to feel better is through the simple yet effective practice of gratitude.
Best selling author Joe Dispenza states, “The longer you feel gratitude, the more you’re drawing your new future to you because gratitude means it has already happened. Gratitude is the ultimate state of receivership. The latest research in neuroscience shows that when you close your eyes and begin to think about your future and embrace the emotions you are going to feel when that event happens. That you are actually installing the neurological circuitry of that experience in your brain.”
So practicing daily gratitude is not only for the benefits or rewiring your brain, but nothing puts you in a better state of joy, than (more…)
I BOOKED THE JOB! LISTENING TO CREATING POWERFUL AUDITIONS MADE A DIFFERENCE!
"Been listening to your "Creating Powerful Auditions" mp3 daily since purchasing about a week ago. Listened to it on the way to an audition...took a few moments before leaving my car to do the visualizations. I walked into the audition room feeling totally empowered, feeling light. I booked the job. I feel your album made a difference. Thank you, Wendy."
YOUR AFFIRMATIONS ALLOWED ME TO STEP OUT OF THE FEAR AND BE PRESENT IN THE ROOM.
"I just returned from an audition after listening to your guided meditations. Your affirmations allowed me to step out of the fear and be present in the room. As I waited for my audition I envisioned the session being successful and feeling empowered afterward. And it was and I did."
I BOOKED TWO ACTING GIGS IN THE SAME WEEK BECAUSE I HAD HER CD ON REPEAT!
"I listen to Wendy's guided meditations pretty much every chance I get. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have her amazing voice in my ear keeping me empowered, inspired + in the right mental space to persevere day in and day out. I booked two acting gigs in the same week because I had Wendy's Creating Powerful Auditions album on repeat. Thank you WENDY for your positivity + light!"
SINCE LISTENING TO YOUR GUIDED MEDITATIONS, I BOOKED 2 FEATURE FILMS
"I bought Creating Powerful Auditions and I listen to it every morning. "Empowering Myself" is my absolute favorite meditation, sometimes I put it on repeat until I fully and truly feel every declaration. Since I've been listening to your guided meditations I booked my first feature film + also recently booked the lead role in my first horror film. Thank you for coming into my life!”
YOUR CREATION IS...VERY POWERFUL, IT CALMED ME, PREPARED ME & FOCUSED ME + I BOOKED JOBS.
"Since I began using your guided meditations I have now, in only a few months, booked up an entire year of work. Your creation is truly a blessing + very powerful. Before every audition I have done recently I have listened to at least 3 of your tracks and it has calmed me, prepared me and focused me."
I'VE TURNED A SLOW STREAK INTO A BOOKING STREAK AND I FEEL REALLY EMPOWERED.
"Wendy is so generous with her knowledge and understanding of the deeper, inside work that goes into living a healthy, happy, well balanced actor life. Her daily inspirations mean so much to me...and I'm grateful for the custom guided meditation she wrote for me. I've turned a slow streak into a booking streak & I feel really empowered."