You most likely got into this business because you love storytelling.
Inspiring and entertaining people through storytelling is an ancient ritual that has been passed down through the ages and to be part of bringing a story to life is a magical art form.
But today, I want to talk about the story you tell yourself.
In fact, the reason most actors don’t succeed has nothing to do with external factors.
It’s in the internal story you tell yourself about what is possible.
- This business is so hard.
- You have to know someone.
- I don’t have enough credits.
- I don’t have the right look.
- I need to be 10 (20, 30) pounds lighter.
- I’ll never find a good agent.
- They only cast social media influencers.
- I never get callbacks.
- My ethnicity never gets cast.
- I don’t memorize well.
Any of these sound familiar? Keep in mind, your awareness and willingness to take responsibility is everything.
Why? You can’t flip the script on your story if you’re not aware (and taking ownership) that you are the one who wrote it in the first place.
Look, I get it It’s easy to take one rejection (or even a few) and give it a some grand meaning, repeat it often, and thereby create a new story that doesn’t serve you.
Then, over time, odds are you start collecting evidence to support this new story + prove to yourself that it’s real.
But if you were to stop yourself in your tracks, (before you added meaning to an event), you would see that it’s the story you create around the event that is the only thing that is keeping you from what you want.
So instead, you can turn all those lies turn into:
- I am finding my way in this business.
- I’m meeting the right people at the right time.
- I trust I am exactly where I need to be.
- My look is unique + I attract roles that are right for me.
- I am ready to be seen exactly as I am.
- I do all I need to do to become a match to great representation.
- I no longer focus on what I can’t control.
- I am resilient + I keep going, getting better every time.
- I trust in the future I cannot see.
- When I understand the scene, memorizing comes easily to me.
Now imagine, what might start showing up with some of these as your new stories.
Think it won’t make a difference?
Here’s how telling a new story helped me soar in the face of multiple rejections.
When I was first starting out, I had the top 10 commercial agents turn me down.
They told me I was too tall, not commercial enough, they had too many white women in their 20’s (this was a few years ago), there’s too much competition, and my personal favorite…they already had someone exactly like me. (Uh, well then I should meet her, because I’m sure she’s amazing! Spoiler alert: I never did, because they never signed me.)
Sure, those rejections stung. Sure, I cried in my car on every freeway in Los Angeles. Sure, I had some really down days.
But, ultimately, I didn’t make any of it my story.
And because I didn’t allow all those rejections to define me, I was able to not only find a smaller agent rather quickly, but book my first national, which eventually led to a new agent, with more bookings ,and then another agent where I booked 19 national commercials in one year.
And three years after getting told “NO” very loudly by 10 different agencies, I was offered a 26-spot commercial campaign that led to a 3 year spokesperson contract.
My story after being rejected by those 10 agents early on in my career became “Oh, I guess they don’t get me. Oh well. I know the right person will.”
That story I told myself effected my actions, my reactions, my auditions, and my perseverance.
SO, what is a story you are telling yourself that is no longer serving you in your acting career (or your life)?
Let me know in the comments below if it’s one from above, then also write your new story (or let me know if you need help rewriting it).
Whatever you choose to do this week, start noticing the story you tell and make sure it’s an empowering one.
Love + Gratitude,