Why Wishing Things Were Different Works Against You

When you try to fix something, you fixate on it. You spend your time + energy focusing on the problem.

Albert Einstein once said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

So whatever feels like a problem this week, what if you simply reframed your thinking?

Better yet, instead of wishing things were different, what if you didn’t even see them as problems, but rather as the perfect next steps along your path?

I had an epiphany this week, in the midst of watching the Hollywood Reporter Roundtable discussion of dramatic actresses, (where Oprah and Nicole Kidman talk about being nervous and being scared of making fools of themselves), and I realized that thinking you will feel differently when you get to somewhere other than where you are right now, is an illusion.

And I just started asking this question….
What if everything was perfect exactly as it is right now? What if you didn’t need one thing to change for you to feel good?

What if the timing of all that is and isn’t happening for you was perfect?What if the space you have in your life right now was perfect?
What if all those days you doubted yourself were perfect?
What if all the times you procrastinated were perfect?
What if all the times you wondered, “when is it gonna happen for me?” were perfect?
What if all the times you knew you nailed your audition were perfect?
What if all the times you didn’t hear anything were perfect?
What if all the times you questioned yourself were perfect?
What if all the times you picked yourself back up were perfect?
What if all the times you started to believe again were perfect?
What if all the times your confidence wavered were perfect?
What if all the tears you’ve cried were perfect?
What if all the emotions you’ve shared were perfect?
What if all the gifts you’ve given were perfect?
What if all the roles you’ve done so far were perfect?
What if where you are right now in your career was perfect?
What if you chose to see all of it as perfect?

What if thinking that getting to where you want to go will somehow feel different than you do right now, was how you keep yourself from enjoying the present moment?

What if you got where you wanted to go and you still had your days of doubt, of disbelief, of questioning, of tears, of wavering, or of fear?

Because, that, my friend, as long as you are an actor, and as long as you are a human being on this planet, is pretty much how it’s going to go.

Oprah openly shared that she was genuinely nervous + afraid to take on her role in The Immortal Life Of Henrietta Lacks.

Here’s a quick excerpt from the wonderful interview:

OPRAH WINFREY (The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, HBO) I was genuinely nervous to take on the role of Deborah Lacks because look at this table. I come as the least experienced person at this table. I come as a person who has great respect for the craft of acting — and for years interviewing actresses and being inspired by actresses, but not developing the craft. I was really afraid to do that.

MODERATOR: Afraid of what, exactly?

WINFREY I was afraid of making a fool of myself! (Laughter.)

NICOLE KIDMAN (Big Little Lies, HBO) That’s every day.

(Check out the full interview here: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/drama-actress-roundtable-oprah-winfrey-reese-witherspoon-rage-sorrow-grief-sexism-hollywood-1010883)

So don’t wait to be sitting at the Emmy/Hollywood Reporter Roundtable for you to feel good about yourself or your career.

Go ahead and choose that where you are today, is just perfect.  Whether you are up, down, sideways or curled up in a ball, it’s a new day in your magnificent life.

Don’t waste today by wishing things were different.

Make peace with where you are.  Remind yourself, that there’s not another person like you on the planet.

You are magnificent.  You are unique.  You are the only one who can tell your story in the way you do it.

So stop waiting to feel confident or perfect to create.  Go create in the middle of your messy days, your down days, and your doubtful days.

You are an artist.

And that is what the word needs right now: those who aren’t afraid to tell the truth of who they really are.  (And in doing so, you might just liberate us all.)

Here’s to a week of embracing the perfection that is your magnificent life, exactly as it is right now.

Leave a comment below + let me know how you are going to reframe your thinking this week + make peace with where you are.

Love + Gratitude,

– Wendy

Leave a Reply

10 thoughts on “Why Wishing Things Were Different Works Against You”

  1. I always enjoy your Monday Morning Mindsets, & save them for inspiration. This may be the best of all of them so far. Thank you!

    1. Don,
      Thanks so much. I love that you save them for inspiration! This one seemed to speak to the core of what we all go through. Glad it spoke to you.
      – Wendy

  2. Maire Muncaster .

    What a powerful and inspiring blog Wendy. it touched me to my core and highlighted my struggles as an actress. Also it goes hand in hand with my practice to being fully present , breathing and to just let the moment be, no wonder how uncomfortable. Everything is connected . You presented the challenges from a different angle in a way that just nailed the actor’s journey. Eureka. Thank You.

    1. Marie,
      You are beyond welcome! I’m so glad this resonated with you so deeply. We all need the reminder from time to time. Myself included. 😉
      Thanks for your sweet comments.
      – Wendy

  3. I love mornings. They’re usually my favorite time of day. Yet this morning was not one of those. I was feeling frustrated and very much in lack. Once again your blog came at the perfect moment 🙂

    It reminded me all of the times in the past where I’ve felt frustrated or scared, and how it all ended up working out eventually. It also reminded me about times where there was a “void” and that the void led to something that might not have otherwise happened.

    I needed this reminder this morning. Thanks for continuing to do what you do best and share it with us, Wendy 🙂

    1. I love hearing this Tony! To know that my simple reminder may have turned things around for you is exactly why I do this week after week, year after year. I simply LOVE knowing that my words have a positive impact on your life. Thanks for letting me know.
      – Wendy 😉

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